Denise Druce, Lucinda Dillon-Kinkead and Megan Marsden talk about their girlfriend group, a formally committed group of women who have shared life and change over the course of eight years. They offer tips on how to organize a group and create the ground rules that give the group longevity and meaning.

Rule Number One: When deciding who will be involved in the group, think of 5-6 women who can and will make a commitment to a monthly gathering. In our group, we "pinky swore" that this group would be a priority and that we would treat our time together as an important part of our lives. We also agreed that when something big comes up and one of us can't make it, we will be supportive and understanding. We make every effort to accomodate everyone's schedule, which is no easy task!

Rule Number Two: Consider the different personality types and know that there will be some in the group with a lot to say, and others who are less apt to try to get a "word in edgewise". We use the 15-minute rule, giving each person 15 minutes to talk, uninterrupted, while the rest listen and then give feedback (when feedback is wanted). Being truly heard and understood by people we care about is one of the greatest benefits of spending time with our girlfriends.

Rule Number Three: When conflict or disagreement arises, as it will with a group of women over time, it is good to have rules in place ahead of time for how you will deal with these issues. We came to an agreement that there are issues that come up which are intensely personal, and confidentiality is expected at these times. A girlfriend group should be a safe place, sacred if you will and the individuals in the group need to feel accepted and supported. This gets tricky, and it's wise for all in the group to have a standby response in the event that one person tries to get a side conversation going. Something like, "I don't feel comfortable talking about this outside of the group, as per our agreement". If, for any reason, any one feels the need to "take a break" from the group, there should be a loving way to talk about that and the rest need to honor that request.

All of this said, a close group of friends is one of the greatest treasures in life. Get a group together, set up some guidelines, have fun and stick with it. The rewards will far outweigh the effort.